Let's talk about something more benign and less... um... well, sick. The tragic, timeless plight of the Mosquito Faces! These individuals are two young women with beak-like mosquito mouths replacing their mouths and noses. This of course causes many complications both socially and... physiologically. You see, mosquito faces can't talk. They have a language, but it sounds like: "Bzz bzz bzz? Bzz bz bzz..." etc. As such, they can only understand one another. They also have the dietary needs of a mosquito, but the metabolic and body mass needs of a human, so they must have snacks of blood frequently throughout the day. It's a painless process, since they have the same anesthetic all mosquitoes have, but nevertheless their bad (though necessary) habit of sneaking a bite from whoever might be around them at the time has made them... unpopular.
Our poor Mosquito Faces attend college together, but their days in the halls of knowledge may be numbered. Their dietary needs and (creepy) visages have thoroughly freaked out the student body, faculty, staff, administration... not to mention the dining hall workers, who draw straws so the loser can sit on the food bar to suit the Mosquito Faces' 'needs.' At last, the administration has called together a panel to discuss expelling the Mosquito Faces... a clearly discriminatory act! It's not their fault they were born Mosquito Faces! They just want an education, like everyone else. Save the Mosquito Faces! Stick it to the man?
7 comments:
Nice Blog :)
Why, thank you! It takes a unique person to appreciate inanity at this level. Props to you!
oh, the classic case of the mosquito face. imagine strolling along to class, when suddenly you notice you're a humpback. weird genetic mutation, you ask? no! mosquito face!social complications would indeed arise. would you want to take the seat in class next to one of these individuals? i sure as hell wouldn't. they would have a donut of empty seats surrounding them, which is understandable, given their frequent snacking. i think dining hall workers would go o strike at this treatment, as well. no way would they want to stick around, knowing they could possibly be for lunch (the poor guy who was bad at drawing straws would be totally covered in huge lumps...awww). it would definitely be hard to keep any for a long period of time. however, if mosquito faces were expelled on the grounds of their extreme creepiness, that would be discriminatory. BUT what about on the grounds of harming other students? mosquito faces may have to watch their snacking...
But if mosquito faces don't have fresh blood frequently, they can DIE! If I had some sort of a condition where if I didn't periodically punch someone, I would DIE, could I really be judged for punching the guy next to me? Could I?! If so, what kind of system are we living in, where people are punished for MERE SURVIVAL?! Also: Stick it to the man? Get it? Lawlz.
::sigh:: thank god you don't have some weird punching disorder. you'd probably punch me through the internet. or...the phone?! you do raise a good point, however...but wouldn't it be better to import blood form blood banks rather than maim staff? it's not exactly fresh, but a mosquito face could still probably survive on it. they could put straws in the bag and it would be like a capri sun pouch! that would be kinda cute... =D
oh, and btw, can you imagine being a professor with a mosquito face in your class? they try to answer a question, but only make creepy buzzing noises....they stare at you the entire class with their beady, hungry eyes....you notice them following you after class is over...knocking on you office door for "help"
::imagines being a professor for mosquito faces::
...
::cries::
The Capri Sun blood bags sound pretty much great. But before the first shipment comes in... it's time to draw straws!
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